​I just got back from the woods. It is a misty soft morning and there were drips of left over rain on all the tiny new born leaves and branches. Stunning!

It is spring and I have been dealing with a ton of ideas popping inside me- images of things I want to create. It is very fun. So much potential and bubbly energy!

I love it..... until it starts to feel painful.

The pain comes in the form of overwhelm, indecision, pressure, should's, impatience, and then moves into frustration, impotence, lack of energy, being stuck, and finally into a feeling of being a fraud, not really being an artist, being worthless, etc.

YIKES!

Does this sound familiar?

Entering a new piece of art can be tough - especially for those creatives who have some experience. You want it to be good. And that gets in the way of the open play necessary if you want to dive into something new.

There is a sense of permission that we need to give ourselves to make something that is not all that good. Or maybe even really bad. You have to risk the unknown - and sometimes it will surprise you in a really great way - and other times not so much. That is ok.

So you can see in the video below that I revel in the process of slamming and shoving - a very physical way of entering a piece - which allows me to skip entirely that pristine white canvas or paper or page or space. 

And I can slide seemlessly into pushing the clay around until I find something that is intriguing or catches my attention - and then I slow down and start to dance with the clay. 

What I said to my co-working group (I had started this process in a co-working session - look for a link below - it is a wonderful group!) is that I had started with "I don't know how to do this" and gotten all the way to Ugly. This is a place I celebrate because it is a way of entering and really being open to discovery - there is absolutely nothing to lose - nothing precious. So I have complete freedom to create. 

This is all in service of staying in the not knowing as long as possible so that I can invite the creative unconscious to play. Only later do I figure out what I have been up to and what it all means to me. 

Today, after removing the front wall, the collaboration blossomed into something really beautiful. It was like the gallery took a huge breath of air and sunlight and opened its heart to us. ​

Recently I have found myself using the term “creatives” as a label or shortcut term for my people. I am also seeing that term tossed around by others. I thought it might be useful to explore what I mean when I call my tribe creatives.

A creative might not know that they are a creative, they might not feel artistic or musical or whatever. I know that I did not- people had to tell me. It is hard to see from the inside.

So, these are some of the signs:

You have been called passionate- you can dive into an idea with all four feet because you see the ways that it can be so great for the world around you.

You have been called a dreamer- your imagination is always on. If you have ever run into a hypnotherapist, they might have told you that you were already in a trance.

You often have more ideas than you can follow through on, and may bounce from one project to the next – on a good day it is invigorating and affirming, and it can also lead to a feeling of ineptitude when you see all the dropped projects around you.

It can feel hard to trust yourself and your ideas because you know that you have not always been able to stick with one long enough to reap the benefits.

A creative is someone who thinks outside the box and makes links between boxes that others might never have thought of.
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​The good news is that you have been getting into the studio and making work, at least some. You are trying to get your creative work moving again and you have decided to go ahead and do short, quick studies- what I would call doodles. The key is that they are low pressure things- throw away work, nothing serious- just a way to get the juices flowing. I will talk more about this process in another post.

The bad news is that when you walk away from it, your inner critic starts yelling about how stupid it is, and how scattered your ideas are, and how you have no discipline or direction and you are never going to amount to anything as an artist. Ouch. It is hard to keep going in the face of this!
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I don't know if it really helps to know this, but it is completely normal. I go through cycles of this as does every artist that I know. And it can be very painful.

As frustrating and painful as it is, what is going on here is really good stuff!

You dream up a creative project that feels right on, and gives you a lot of joy to imagine it, but it never really gets off the ground. In fact after dreaming of it for so long, not only does it lose its joy, but it can actually begin to be a drain on your confidence!

I have so been there, and it is painful!

The thing is that you are an adult and you have a ton on your plate. 
It is really hard to prioritize a creative project when you need to pay the bills, tend to the kids, get the car fixed, buy groceries, and have some sort of a social life.

Not being able to get past that first hurdle of getting the project firmly in the line-up of priorities can be what keeps a person from doing their creative work for years and years, and this is a travesty.

The world needs your creative work!
If you have a creative itch it is because it needs to be expressed and if you need to express it there are others out there who need to be able to connect with it! It is part of the collaborative project of our human culture- we are all in it together and we need each other’s wisdom, questions and creativity. 

I believe firmly that each of us has something very particular to offer the world and it is our job to do it. And it is not always easy to know what that thing is and to find the energy to make it happen.

Why can't I make real art any more?
Is this question familiar? It goes like this: You are frustrated because it has been forever since you have made any real art and you doubt that you still have it in you. You have always thought of yourself as an artist, but sometimes you wonder whether you can really claim that anymore. I have so been there! If you have been like me, there are things that you have done to try to be creative, and they have satisfied a certain part of you, but they go now where and end up feeling like dabbling. The feeling of really making art is like a distant memory. Art school is long since over and life kicked in- responsibilities took over and here you are 20 years later and you don’t really know who you are anymore. It’s like that old Talking Head’s song  “this is not my beautiful life, how did I get here...”. You do things to get yourself grounded and centered like yoga, walks in the woods, even taking a day to clean and organize helps sometimes, but there is something missing.
 

First I want to acknowledge that this is not actually small. It is a big issue. You and so many others like you have been able to keep on living and taking care of the stuff of life, but underneath it all- there is this